Sick and guilty

I've been sick now for two weeks. First with the flu, and now with a secondary infection. Stupid workaholic me, pushed myself to go to work all week and now I have hardly managed to get out of bed all weekend.

It was exam week last week for my Year 10s and 11s. I also had to prepare my Year 11s for their final assessment task, which is this week coming. I have had assignments and exams to mark, and reports to write by Tuesday. For the first time ever, I don't think I'll make the deadline.

Why do I feel so guilty? In most other jobs if you're sick, you don't have to leave work for others to do, and you don't continue to work at home. I should have had last week off, but I didn't because I don't want my students failing. But they don't really care anyway, so why should I? I have 90 exams to mark - at least 15 hrs work - 10 minutes per exam. Most of that marking is done in my own time after work. Reports, likewise.

Why do I keep doing this job? For the hours of work, the stress and the responsibility, we get paid pittance. Will it ever change?

The Business Council of Australia (Made up of the CEOs of the top 100 Australian Corporations) have put together a huge research report into the state of education in the country and what is needed if we are to provide for the future needs of industry. They believe teacher shortages and the dropping standard of education is the biggest problem the nation faces. Their research has found that the quality of teaching is the most important factor involved in improving student learning. They suggest that top teachers should be earning A$130,000, not the current A$70,000.

But when will the government listen?

He's back.

While i've been off work with the flu, I still managed to hear that they've taken my darling ADHD student back! I know I didn't think he should have been asked to leave in the first place, but seriously - get some integrity and stick with the decision!

He is going to be gloating about his victory over the school authorities for the rest of the year.

Just another of the incompetencies of government school management...

Expulsion

This week, I had to sit in on a meeting where a student (who I have worked closely with for three years) was asked to leave. This 17 year old boy is no angel. He can be rude and crude, he suffers seriously from ADHD (the real kind, not the kind made up by bad parents) and he has been trouble for years, his pediatrician thinks that he's a 14 or 15 year old behaviour-wise. A few years ago I took him on excursions in the city and as we were travelling around by tram, he would run from one window to another and turning around to say "Look at that!", then "Look at that". His head would hang out the window with his tongue lolling, just like a puppy. On these occasions he was also completely obedient and did whatever I asked.

However, at school he would disappear from class, rarely do any work, swear at teachers, refuse to wear uniform, lie continually, jump over tables, climb fences (or anything climable), run around the room and do stupid dangerous things, the latest being throwing an egg at a kid's head in food technology. I don't think he has ever beaten anyone to a pulp, which is usually what gets most students kicked out. He is a smart arse through and through and lives for football (not surprisingly, he is a really fast runner too!), but he also has an endearing quality that makes him hard to dislike. He adores his girlfriend, walks her to school and to class (even though it usually makes him late) and once he trusts and likes you, he will do anything for you.

Having worked with the kid for years, I have seen a huge improvement in his behaviour, his attitude and his respect for teachers - he even opens doors for them now (only the teachers he likes, mind you), not many other kids will do that. But the powers that be decided that the egg incident, and the fact that he's probably failing half his subjects, combined with a number of smaller incidents, meant his time at school was up. Alternative programs are the way to go.

When he was told, he bawled like a baby for at least half an hour. It was heartbreaking seeing this tough, fully grown kid react that way. When the meeting was over he told me that he "just wanted to die" and that his heart hurt. It was awful. His mum told me that he will go home and kick everything in sight, probably breaking everything that he hasn't already broken.

I don't know what he will do. He wants to be at school and in his stubbornness he is refusing to think about any other options. He's already been in trouble with the police for some car stealing shenanigans and he's apparently been pretty violent at home towards his (single) mum. I only hope that his heart will overcome the impulses of his mind eventually. It is sad that after all these years of supporting him, there is not much more I can do. I guess now I can give that attention to someone else who needs it.

Long time no write...

I know it's been a while. Again. Sometimes life just gets so overwhelming that writing doesn't get much of a look in.

This seems to be the longest term ever and I've been enviously reading the blogs of my northern hemisphere colleagues who are gearing up for summer. Here, "down under", winter is setting in. I know many people wouldn't really consider our winter very serious, we still have 10 hours of daylight, it doesn't snow and right now the sun is pouring in my window. But there is still a chill that can cut to the bone, the grey skies can last for weeks, numbing the soul, and single glazed windows and poor insulation really don't keep out the frosty nights.

Undoubtedly, I suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Although right now it's probably more a general depression, or just plain loneliness. For someone who has contact with a thousand people every day, I'm always surprised when I find an attack of the lonelies coming over me.

My sister has just had her fourth child and she's finding it a bit overwhelming (recovering from a c-section, suffering from carpal tunnel). She's struggling to be supermum, which she's always been before. I'm selfishly finding it difficult to sympathise with her and I feel bad about it. She chose to have a fourth child, I can't even find someone I would consider having a child with. I don't want to have her life, but I'm jealous all the same.

At least work keeps me busy. There really isn't a dull day. But right now I'm tired of it, and want a different life for a while.

Dumb and Dumber

This week my Year 11s have continued writing their blogs. Their writing is basically stream of consciousness so they have horrific spelling and punctuation.

When I reminded one student (I'll name her Dumb) to go through and edit, Dumb said she already had. I asked, "what about making all the "i"s capitals?". She replied, "Why would I put capital letters in the middle of a sentence?" I didn't really know how to respond, I was dumbstruck... (bad pun). She really didn't understand that this was standard practise! When I was about to explain, another student (she can be known as Dumber) leaned over her shoulder and said "I never knew they were meant to be capitals, Miss." Both Dumb and Dumber were completely sincere. So I gave them a lesson they should have learnt by the time they were 10, not 17!

Dumb and Dumber regularly produce comments like this in my class, they frequently leave the rest of the class speechless with their stupid statements, and this is a class that never stops talking!

Last year, we went on a trip through the centre of Australia with 70 Year 10 students. For those that don't know, Australia is BIG and the landscape varied. We live in a city with a mediterranean climate, with four seasons that are generally mild. So travelling in a bus for days to reach endless plains of red desert is a brand new experience for our sheltered suburban kids (and me!).

Being on a bus with 35 students for hours at a time does tend to send the teachers a little insane, so we took it upon ourselves to make the most of their ignorance and gulibility. For example, we told the students that if they wanted to stop the dingoes coming near their tents, they needed to put a circle of shaving cream or flour around them every evening. Even though they told us they knew we were joking, when packing up the next morning there were at least three circles on the ground.

Another time, Dumber asked a teacher while walking through the outback, "Sir, will I see lions out here?".

When we crossed the border from South Australia to the Northern Territory, we informed students that they needed to set their watches back four hours. Dumb did. As their names imply, the NT is directly north of SA, and thus in the same time zone.

Crossing the border also means that visitors have to throw out any fruit they have, this is to stop fruit flies contaminating the landscape. However, the teachers managed to convince a whole bus of students that this also included any fruit flavoured lollies (candy). So the students handed over their sweet stashes and the teachers ended up with a boxful, which they proceeded to consume!

The strange thing is that Dumber is actually quite bright when it comes to school work. It's just that words from her brain bypass the filter system the rest of us have and exit straight out her mouth.